I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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