Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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