Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize