Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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