Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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