At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
