I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the raccoons are back...
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