Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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