what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize