he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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