i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize