im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
