my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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