apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
