Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
