Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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