No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just blew my weed a kiss
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
