Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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