I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
