I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
