You're my little dorito
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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