If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
