It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
