i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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