So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
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Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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