her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
