I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
