She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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