Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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