So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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