I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
