The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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