well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
