just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize