Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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