he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
