I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
