They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
