One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I AM VODKA MAN
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
