You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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