We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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