Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize