I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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