once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
