two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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