and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
