guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
