My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
