that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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