The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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