STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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