My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So much rum. So many feels.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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