You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
