So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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