Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
