I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
