Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
