I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Michael Bay diarrhea
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Randomize
