Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
