none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
