I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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