One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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