i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
