Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
