I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
